PART I – THE INCREDIBLE PEP-SHI, AGENT FOR HIRE
There I was, sitting atop the Tower of London, when this mysterious man, about seven feet tall approached. He wore nothing but a trench coat, smelled of Napoleon Brandy, and I could tell in an instant his most intimate secret. He was French. The over tall giant lit up a cigar (Cuban, unfortunately), and inhaled. I could not believe it when he turned green!!
It took a moment for him to compose himself. Finally he gazed at me with those strange, black eyes that held no meaning, no life. Then he spoke.
“Are you Pep-shi, International spy of Mystery, Spooks, Wraiths, and other assorted Paranormal Phenomena?”
“Why, yes,” I mumbled into by travel mug of steamy Red Rose Tea that I had to import from Canada. It is only available in Canada. Pity, eh? “What is it to you?”
The man in black – the MiB, looked at me with a face describable as sad or, better yet – HAUNTED. “It seems, Mr. Pep-Shi, that the Evil Dr. Peppa’ and the Mountain Dew Consortium have killed Mr. Christie – owner of the Hershey Fortune. His will, read yesterday, stated he would be murdered and YOU are to solve the case.”
“Holy Alberta!” I retorted and dropped my mug. From far below, a soft moan reached my ears as my cup struck the night watchman. Oh, well. He was no big loss to the world. “How was Mr. Christie killed?”
“He was found floating below the North Saskatchewan River, tied to a cinder block directly below the High Level Bridge in Edmonton. A note pinned to his back read “I WAS NOT PUSHED..I WAS MURDERED…DOCTOR PEPPA’.”
“Wow, I said. What is in this for me?”
“Ten billion dollars and the entire Christie line of shopping malls, candy stores and adult magazines he purchased from Harry Flint.”
“Wow”, I said again. Solving this case against the evil Dr. Peppa’ – my nemesis since we both graduated from Harvard with degrees in EVIL and GOOD and my ending up being the valedictorian. I grinned. My gold tooth glittered, malevolent in the full moon.
“When do I start?”